Kabuki

I got to the party late, but I stayed for the whole thing…until the bitter end, as it were (or was). Unbeknownst to me, C-SPAN changed its programming yesterday. C-SPAN made a rather idiotic decision on Monday to run the Petraeus/Crocker hearings on C-SPAN3 — a channel very, very few of us actually get, unless we buy a “premium” package from our cable/satellite vendors. The rationale for Monday’s programming decision was “since the House is in session, we’ll run the Petraeus/Crocker hearings on 3.” So we were treated to live but routine bullsh!t business from the floor of the House on Monday, instead of this year’s MOST important congressional committee hearings. Bad call, that. And apparently C-SPAN recognized the stupidity of the decision, because there was Petraeus and Crocker, live on C-SPAN(1) when I decided to see what was going on there early yesterday afternoon.

I tuned in just as the Senate Foreign Relations committee hearings were ending, sometime in the early afternoon, my time. Strangely enough, the Armed Services committee meeting was scheduled to begin a mere five minutes after the Foreign Relations meeting ended. Senator Levin was generous by delaying the start of his meeting by 20 minutes, giving General Petraeus and Ambassador Crocker a few minutes to grab a sandwich or other such sustenance. Then it was on with the show.

As I stated at the beginning: I watched the whole miserable, trying thing. It was interminable, and I say this as a guy who was free to get up and walk around, go to the loo, get a Dr. Pepper out of the fridge, fix a snack, or whatever else struck my fancy. Ambassador Crocker and General Petraeus weren’t as lucky: they got one 20 minute break during the whole ordeal, if memory serves. Only one break in a hearing that lasted at least four hours, not counting the previous day’s inquisition or the previous Foreign Relations hearing? Now that’s cruel and unusual punishment. One Armed Services committee member recognized this fact and opened his questioning with a quip that back-to-back hearings lasting well over eight hours “might not be Geneva Conventions-compliant.” That got a wry smile from Petraeus, and it was one of the very few light moments in the hearing.

For your benefit Gentle Reader, I offer the following “Shorter Senate Armed Services Committee Hearing:”

Petraeus/Crocker: “It’s working. We need more time. We don’t need deadlines. We DO need continued funding.”
Republicans: “Yes, we know it’s working.”
Democrats: “No, it’s NOT.” “The American people…blah, blah, blah.”

I threw away at least six hours of my life yesterday watching that kabuki play. I really should have known better at my age.

One more note. Aside from General Petraeus, the most impressive person in those hearings yesterday was Senator Clinton. You cannot possibly understand how much it pains me to write that, but it’s absolutely true. The woman was calm, cool, organized, and made her points with great precision and gravitas. In a word, she looked …um… “presidential.” It pains me to write that, too.